Half of all marriages these days in divorce and we all ask why and quote changing social trends in modern times, liberation of women to changing work practices. While some of this might be true I believe the real reason is much simpler. Marriage is hard work and people find it easier to quit than make it work!
I know it sounds harsh but most people would find it easier to divorce and go about their lives rather than do the hard yards and make their marriage work! Previously people were forced into marriage because women could not support themselves in society easily and it was seen as a terrible thing to divorce but that simply made unhappy marriages instead of divorce. To make a good stable marriage you have to work at it all the time and the rewards are worth the effort but most people get complacent and things start falling apart.
Now it does not have to be like that and even marriages on the brink of divorce can be brought back to a fulfilling relationship as long as at least one person is willing to work at it and not be discouraged. To do this though there is one extremely important thing you must do to mend the rift:
Let go of your Ego!
One thing that destroys relationships more than anything is peoples drive to be right and WIN at an argument or at an entire relationship! This is a poison that can eat into every part of your life and puts up barriers between your lover and yourself as you never can win or if you do it ends up emotionally devastating and unforgivable. You see when you want to win they will not want to lose when you are hostile and arguing, this means that to resolve a conflict you must set aside that desire to win and leave yourself unarmed and defenseless against their attacks. Even if you know they are wrong it does not matter! the point is that you need to destroy the hostility barriers you have created by being stubborn so that you can actually talk and fix your problems!
Not only will you be able to resolve problems you will find that your spouse will be reluctant to continue verbal attacks because there is no victory in defeating an unarmed opponent and frequently they will start defending you once they realize what they were saying may have been driven by ego and anger and then everyone can start from a clean slate.
So save marriage, stop divorce and have the marriage you want to have by leaving your ego at the door and gaining the intimacy you need to have a great marriage that will last the test of time!
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